Sunday, December 4, 2016

Dad Teaching Mom to Text

My parents are intelligent, educated people who cannot for the life of them figure out anything in the technology department created after the year 2000.

Dad and I were in Walmart one afternoon and he wanted to go through the self check out aisle but he didn't want me to help him – he's smart and should be able to work this machine with no problem.

So I watched while he swiped and swiped, occasionally hitting the bar code but most of the time not. I eventually stepped up and pointed out the bar code and he managed to move along.

But then he moved a bag or something and the woman's voice coming from the machine started telling him something about the bagging area.

He was already frustrated so that made him mad and he yelled at her (the voice in the machine) She repeated what she'd said before and that really pissed him off so he started pushing buttons and yelling back at her like you wouldn't believe.

The whole debacle was hysterical and the fact that people were staring at him just made everything even funnier.

And then it was time to pay.

Good grief, you'd think the world had ended when he pushed the wrong button and then the machine froze.

The rest is just a blur of him yelling and a cashier rushing over to escort him to the 'difficult folks' register and handled the rest of his transaction.

Three items and thirty minutes later we were on our way.

Later on I told my Mom about it and she said “Oh honey, never let him go through that aisle – he just can't do it and everybody in the store will think you're with an idiot.”

He is determined to keep up with technology but bless his heart, his smart phone is smarter than he is.

We have Iphones but he is against the “I Movement” so he's got a Motorola. Very cool phone with lots of features but I barely know how to use my own phone so telling him how to use his is impossible.

I got this text the other day.

I didn't hear from either one of them again so I assume the lesson went south pretty quick.

He has learned to talk to his phone to check the weather so he knows there is someone in there 😉

My Mom doesn't really care now that she's learned how to use Ebay, Amazon and Paypal. She has a landline in her home and a new cell phone that she turns off and can never find.

If she does find it all she can do is make and answer calls. I've talked to her about texting before and when her eyes glazed over I knew texting wasn't in her future.

I think Dad knows that now too. 

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Friday, October 28, 2016

Am I on a Watch List Now?

Last night the Youngest Island Boy and I ran up to the Circle K for some ice cream.

As we pulled up to store we see about 7 police cars, a couple of guys handcuffed and sitting on the curb and a LOT of guys wearing SWAT type vests.

We parked away from the hullabaloo and the Youngest ran into the store.

While he was gone I was watching whatever it was going on across the parking lot and when the Youngest got back in the truck he said the clerk told him that some guys agreed to meet an undercover cop at the store and sell him some guns. I don't know if that's the real story but whatever the story is – those guys were in BIG trouble.

Holy cow! Destin might be a major tourists destination but during the off season we're just a quiet little town and the idea of a gun deal going down at the corner store is scary.

The Youngest asked if we could sit and watch for a minute so I told him yes.

They brought a K9 out to search the truck the handcuffed guys were sitting next to and more and more deputies kept pulling in.

A few minutes later I see an investigator walking over towards my truck. I wasn't parked illegally and I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong but there he was, walking right towards the truck.

But instead of walking up to the window - which was down so we could hear – he walked behind my truck and started writing down my tag number.

I really wanted to get out and ask what he was doing but I was in my pajamas so I stayed put, expecting him to come to the window when he finished writing down my tag number.

But he didn't. He walked back to his car and I saw him run my tag number on his computer.

Obviously he found nothing so he didn't bother to come back over to us but I kept wondering why he'd written my tag number down.

The Youngest suggested that maybe the investigator thought we might be part of what was going on.

Seriously? Are people really that stupid?

If I had anything at all to do with whatever was happening I sure as hell wouldn't have pulled in and parked .

Not long after, they started putting the handcuffed guys in cruisers so we headed home.

And now, according to the Youngest, my truck is probably on some kind of watch list – all because he wanted to watch what was going on.

Luckily, I don't deal drugs or guns but I am known for having a lead foot so I guess I'll have to be extra vigilant driving around town.

I wonder how many times I'll got stopped now that my tag number is possibly on a watch list somewhere?

This should be interesting. 

Friday, October 7, 2016

The Voices in my Head

I spent 10 days at my cousin's house pet sitting for her and to be honest I thought I was losing my mind.

Every once in a while I'd hear voices, very quiet, but still someone was talking. I couldn't make out what they were saying but I could most definitely hear them.

The first time it happened I started watching Shit Bird to see if it was him mumbling under his breath but he wasn't.

I shrugged it off to noisy neighbors but one night I heard the voices so I walked outside and couldn't hear them anymore.


The tv was off, the computer was off, and it wasn't the neighbors or the bird.

I tried to put it out of my mind but seriously, hearing voices was really starting to freak me out. I've met people who hear voices but they've either been wearing a tin foil hat or just let out of a psych ward.

I really started paying attention and noticed that it only happened inside her house.

Is the house haunted? I didn't get any bad vibes from the house and the voices weren't menacing or scary, in fact they didn't even sound like what I would assume ghostly voices sound like.

But I was definitely hearing them and by about the 5th day I was hoping they were ghosts because if they weren't I was undeniably having a mental health issue.

People have called me crazy for years but this was WAY past that.

And then, on my last day there, I was straightening the house and saw this.

Somehow while I was messing with the tv remote the first day I got there, I turned the radio on. It was on talk radio and turned down real low.

You have no idea the relief I felt.

I can deal with crazy but voices in my head? That's a whole different level!