Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Mom's Birthday or National 69 Day

Yesterday was my Mom's birthday and my Dad threw her a small party.

As we were driving over the kids asked how old she is and sadly, I wasn't sure.

I'm 51 and I think she was 20 or 21 when she had me so that would make her 72 or 73. I think. I told them I wasn't sure and since she always makes me photoshop her birthday cakes so no one can see the number of candles I'd have to ask her.

We visited with family, Dad cooked burgers on the grill and we all enjoyed spending time together.

After dinner Dad brings out Mom's cake and it has the numbers 69 on it.

She smiled and said “You did put a 69 on there!”

Because apparently she's decided that 69 is a good age. She gets the senior discount but isn't in her 70s.

After she blew out the candles my sister says “I think it's funny that you have a 69 on your cake.”

Everyone except the kids snickered and my Mom looked around the table and asked what was so funny.

Snickers turned into giggles and Mom was getting more confused by the minute so I leaned over and whispered in her ear “It's a sex position”

Where is a camera when you need one? Mom's mouth fell open and the giggles around the table turned into full blown laughter.

My sister's kids kept asking what everyone was laughing about and why 69 is funny so she told them she would explain when they're older.

The Island Girl leaned over and whispered – “she won't have to tell them because they'll be Googling that as soon as they get home”

Which made me realize that my Mom will be too and I laughed even harder.

I don't know how “old” Mom's going to be next year but I'm thinking 67 or 68 may be the new number. 

If not May 23rd will forever be known as National 69 Day.

Saturday, May 7, 2016

Walking - or not - In Heels

I'm not really an “outfit” kind of girl. I'm more of a throw on whatever is clean and not too wrinkled person but not long ago I went shopping and bought some new clothes.

And a new pair of shoes. A pair of the cutest 6” platform sandals you've ever seen.

As soon as I showed them to the Island King he shook his head and told me I was going to break my neck walking in them.


When I was in my 20s I could strut around in high heels all day and half the night – with no problem at all.

He reminded me that while this may be true I haven't worn anything but flip flops, hiking boots and tennis shoes in the past 25 years.

I ignored him and last Friday night I put on one of my cute new outfits, my new shoes and out we went.

We had dinner and as we were leaving the restaurant we walked across a grassy median and I hit a stump.

And fell slap off my new shoes.

I didn't twist my ankle or anything – just fell off the damn things.

I landed on my arm, which I'm pretty sure has a slight fracture, and then kind of lay there wondering what just happened.

The Youngest Island Boy was trying to get me off the ground and kept saying “get up Granny, we're in the middle of Michigan Ave and you're holding up traffic” Which is a throwback from when my Mom fell in Chicago.

After he and the Island King got me back on my feet I was brushing myself off and realized the price tag was still on my shorts.

Good grief! I'd been walking around all evening with the price tag still on my clothes like I was Minnie Pearl.

I refused to go to the ER so when we got home the Island King put a splint on my arm and gave me a pain pill that was leftover from the last time I hurt myself.

Meanwhile, I'm still wearing the splint, my arm will continue to hurt for a while, I've put those damn shoes in the very back of the closet AND made sure the tags have been removed from all my new clothes.

The saddest part of this whole story is that I hadn't had a drop of alcohol. If I'd have been tipsy falling would be more understandable.

Apparently walking in heels is not like riding a bike.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

More Paddling Along the Shoal River

After canoeing on the Shoal River from Hwy 90 to Hwy 85 we decided we wanted to continue along the Shoal until it converges with the Yellow River.

My Dad wanted to go as well so on Sunday we loaded our canoe and kayaks into the trailer and off we went.

We met Dad at Bill Duggan, Jr Park on Hwy 85, which is where we pulled out last time, and then took his truck to Little Gin Hole Landing on the Yellow River, where we planned to end our trip.

We parked his truck and then drove ours back to the park and set out on our journey.

Under the Hwy 85 bridge and into undeveloped, true Florida.

The river was gorgeous and had just enough current to push us along so we only had to paddle around some of the logs in the river.

Floating down the river, with my Dad, husband and kids was amazing.

The Island Girl took off ahead of us and as she came around a bend she surprised a small group of wild hogs drinking from the river. They saw her and took off through the woods making all kinds of racket.

You can definitely tell the difference between a hog running through the woods and a deer because deer can be very quiet – hogs however have no sense of stealth whatsoever.

The river was high so there weren't any sandbars to stop on and about lunch time we decided we might be eating in the swamp with our boats shoved up against a Cypress knee.

Which is when we came around a bend and saw a pretty cool camp at the river's edge.

And just around the corner we saw this

There were no No Trespassing signs so we pulled up and had lunch on the picnic table.

There was a well worn path between the picnic area and the camp just around the bend so after lunch we followed it to get a better look.

I would love to have a nice party spot right on the river like this. Because we were on private property I didn't take pictures of the camp but it was really cool and looked like the perfect spot for parties.

And this bridge over the slough is exactly what we need over the creek at Tower Camp.

After lunch we got back on the river and continued our journey.

Well, we were ready to continue on when the Island Girl leaned a little too far over in her kayak and ended up in the river.

The current immediately took the kayak so she was trying to catch it while I scrambled for her paddle.

It took us a minute but she caught the yak, I caught the paddle and she was back in the boat, wet but laughing hysterically.

After another hour or so of wilderness we came across a small group of fish camps. Some of them are strictly camps but others are year round homes.

About four hours after we launched we reached the convergence where the Shoal river flows into the Yellow river.

Everyone else kept paddling but I sat for a while, watching the two rivers merge.

Our pull out spot was another tenth of a mile or so and when I finished watching the rivers meet I paddled on down to join the rest of our group and pull the boats out.

It took us about 4 hours to ease down the river, really only needing to paddle around some of the log jams.

Tired but happy we loaded our boats and headed home.

Slowly but surely we're meeting my goal of paddling the rivers in Northwest Florida – one by one - section by section.

Monday, April 11, 2016

A Donner Party Canoeing Trip on the Shoal River

I've been wanting to paddle along the Shoal River for a while now and finally talked the Island King into making the trip with me.

We got our stuff together Saturday night and were supposed to leave around 9 on Sunday morning. Except, we're not morning people and when the alarm went off I turned it off instead of hitting snooze, rolled over and went back to sleep.

We woke up a little later, had some coffee and by the time we were ready to leave it was noon.

The route we were taking is 10 miles and the Island King declared we could do that in 2.5 hours. I told him the website I'd looked at said it takes 4 hours but he said that must be wrong.

I really didn't care how long it was going to take but I grabbed the Q-beam we use in our boat, just in case.

We dropped his truck off at the Bill Duggan Jr. Park on Hwy 85, which is where we planned to end up

And then we continued in my truck up to the Ray Lynn Barnes boat launch on Hwy 90 just east of Crestview.

As we were driving the Island King sighed and said “I hope this doesn't turn out to be a Donner Party mission.”

I'm not sure why he's always so convinced that my adventures are going to end up like the Donner party. Yes, we've been lost and stuck and have had to call for help but we've never suffered from hypothermia or had to eat anyone in our party so I'm not sure why he calls my missions Donner Party missions.

I will say that in this particular case we were leaving a bit later than we should have... just like the Donner Party, but by this time I was in Damn the Torpedoes mode and we were going.

We put the canoe in the water at 4:07 and since he'd declared the article about how long the trip would take wrong, the Island King felt like we'd have no problem getting to the pull out spot right before sunset.

Off we went and I can tell you this stretch of the river is gorgeous.

We paddled under the P&A railroad bridge

The I10 interstate bridge

And continued winding our way along the river.

We stopped a few times on some of the sandbars along the bank and at one point the Island King told me to pull up Google Maps on my phone see how much farther we needed to go.

“I'm thinking we're over 3/4 of the way there” he says.

I wish I had taken a picture of his face when he saw this.

Ummm actually we still have 3/4 of the way to go.

The sun was just hitting the tops of the trees and we weren't even close to our pull out spot.

We paddled a little faster and then ran into a huge log jam.

We made a left into a small slew and paddled around the backside of an island, hoping to find another way down river.

The little slew was jammed as well so we pulled the canoe across a sandbar, around the log jam and then back into the main part of the river.

As he was pulling the canoe, he kept muttering something about “Mrs. Donner said there would be no portaging.”

The article I read said there was no portaging but this is a river and rivers change daily – which he knows – so I'm not taking blame on that one.

Despite the fact that it was getting dark, we were still enjoying ourselves and watching the sunset along the river was really pretty.

But then we went from this

To this.

It's a shame we didn't do this on a full moon because paddling by moonlight would have been amazing.

Sadly, there was no moon and it was very dark.

You can call me Mrs. Donner all you want but at least I brought the big light – which is a good thing because we couldn't see our hands in front of our faces.

We'd been talking earlier about the Indians using this river so many years ago and after it got dark we decided they probably only got on the river at night during a full moon.

Finally, we came around a bend and could see the boat ramp in the distance.

Despite the fact that I was having a lot of fun I was really glad to see that ramp. My arms were aching, my butt was asleep and my feet were freezing.

We got to the ramp at 8:17 and the Island King said “well damn, I guess they were right about this taking 4 hours.”

I love it when he's wrong and I couldn't resist pointing out that we were not suffering from hypothermia and we didn't have to eat each other along the way.

We may have gotten back a lot bit later than expected but we made it.

I can't wait to do it again but this time I want to leave a little earlier and a full moon would be helpful.