Monday, April 21, 2008

Godfather R

The Mafia incident on Saturday reminded me of the other Godfather on our street and what happened years ago. Mr. R lives across the street and seems like a really nice guy, but not someone you'd want to mess with. Mr. R was having problems with the same kids who were messing with our Christmas tree. They were ringing his doorbell late at night and running away, climbing all over his boat and just really being a nuisance. About midnight one night we heard a commotion in front of the house and being the nosy people that we are we went out to investigate. And there in front of us goes Mr. R running down the street in his underwear, screaming "I'm going to catch you, you little SOBs!" at the top of his lungs AND waving his 45! He ran right up to the house the trouble makers lived in and started banging on their door. They answered the door and acted like they'd been asleep and it must have been someone else banging on his bedroom window. Their parents weren't home and Mr. R chewed those kids out for a good ten minutes and ended by telling them that messing around his house at night was going to get them shot. He came walking back by our house and as he passed he just smiled and acted like he wasn't in his underwear and carrying his pistol LOL

Fast forward 5 years. We'd been having a rash of car burglaries in our neighborhood and towards the end of the summer every car on our street had been hit at least once. Nothing that wasn't tied down was safe. When the Island King's truck was broken into the deputy who answered the call told us they thought it was kids who lived with a different parent during the school year and that were here with the parent who lived in our town for the summer. The deputy then looked me right in the face and told me that they were so busy with tourists up on the main street that they just didn't have time to patrol the neighborhoods during the summer. Isn't that wonderful? I'm a property tax paying resident but they don't have time to patrol my street during the summer. Everyone on our street was angry. We live in an area with a really low crime rate but the cops can't catch the punks breaking into cars at night. Great. This information didn't sit well with Mr. R and he decided to take matters into his own hands. He left his garage door open one night and then hid in a big bush in the yard across the street and waited. He'd been sitting there about an hour when he saw movement near his garage. It was a boy about 12 years old, dressed all in black and talking into a walkie talkie. He was the scout for 2 other kids on bikes so this kid would wander around looking for something to steal and then radio the other 2 to come on in when he found a good target. Well Mr. R took off running after this boy and caught up with him in the backyard. He threw him on the ground, pointed his gun at the boy and told him that he was going to shoot him in the head, cut his body up and bury him in the back yard. And that no one would ever find his body. Meanwhile the Island King and I are at home and all of a sudden we hear these horrible screams. Loud, horrible, horrible screams and we went running outside thinking that surely someone was being murdered. We see Mr. R handcuffing this boy to the front of his boat and the boy is screaming bloody murder. HELP! HELP ME! Mr. R points the gun at him and tells him to shut up just as we run up. The boy gets stops screaming but is still crying and is absolutely terrified and Mr. R tells us what's happened. He tells us he's calling the cops. Then he looks back at the boy and says "No I've changed my mind, I'm going to shoot the little bastard" This boy let out the most hideous scream I've ever heard and started yelling "Please call the cops! Please call the cops! Please Please Please" I have never seen a human being as terrified as the boy was. He believed with all of his heart that this lunatic was going to kill him and bury him in the back yard and the Island King saying "I'll help you dig" just made the kid cry harder. The boy is begging and apologizing and crying and apologizing some more. About then a police car comes around the corner. Mr. R's wife called 911 when Mr. R caught the kid and now they're here. The boy starts begging the deputy to take him to jail and get him away from Mr. R - FAST. Mr. R tells the deputy the story and the boy was "taken into custody" because apparently they don't arrest terrified 12 year olds. They take them to the jail and call their parents to come and get them. By the time the deputy put the boy in the back of his car, the boy was an a wreck. He was still crying and and apologizing and he kept thanking the deputy for taking him away from Mr. R.

Now I will say that I thought Mr. R may have scared the boy a little too much but I can also say that I'm pretty sure this kid will not EVER sneak around stealing stuff in the dead of night again. He truly believed he was going to die and fear of death can be a big deterrent LOL That was the last night that anything was stolen from anyone on our street. It didn't take long for the word to get out that Mr. R was insane and would chase you down the road in his underwear and that if he ever caught you, there was a strong possibility that he'd kill you and bury you in his back yard.
Mr. R got a stern lecture from the deputy that night, not for terrorizing the boy but for stalking! According to the deputy if you suspect someone is going to break into your car or garage, it's considered stalking to sit and wait for them. I still don't get or agree with that and while I'm not sure it's a good idea to threaten to kill boys and bury them in your back yard I do think that if more people sat and watched there would be less neighborhood crime. Especially after you've been told by the local police that they're too busy up around where the tourist hang out to patrol your neighborhood.

Obviously, the Mafia has been in operation on our street for years - and that's a good thing LOL
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