Wednesday, May 28, 2008

He Thinks He's Dirty Harry

Last night the Island King told me he was going to the store. He was gone for a long time but I didn't think anything about it because his brother lives a couple of houses down from us and a lot of times he'll stop by there and hang out a while. When he finally got back home his eyes were wild and he kept saying "You're not going to believe this!" He says he came around the corner and he saw a black Blazer with 3 guys in it stopped on the side of the road with the back door open. Walking quickly towards the Blazer was a black guy with no shirt on carrying a handful of fishing rods. The guy really looked out of place and the Island King recognized one of the fishing rods as a big cobia rod that belongs to our neighbor. He stopped and when the guy saw the Island King looking at him he took off running towards the Blazer. The Blazer took off towards the stop sign and the guy was running trying to catch up to it. The Island King threw his truck in reverse and started chasing this guy down the street. The guy threw the rods in some bushes and the Blazer stopped long enough for the guy to jump in and then took off. The Island King, still in reverse, took off after them. He says he was going about 50 down the road, backwards, for about 2 blocks before he could turn around. He was right on the tail of the Blazer and then saw a wide driveway and was able to swing his truck around and continue after them, now driving forward. He chased them for another mile and while he was chasing them got 911 on the phone. He said he was yelling at the 911 operator that she needed to send a deputy fast because the Blazer kept going faster and faster and he didn't know how much longer he could keep up. The Blazer slowed a little to make a turn and the Island King tried to cut him off and run the Blazer up into some bushes. They managed to swerve around him and take off again. He said they hit 70 on a long stretch and since they were getting close to some main roads and traffic (there had been no cars at all on the roads he was chasing them on) he decided to back off. They got away and he drove back towards our house. He called the neighbor who owned the fishing rods and the neighbor met him outside. This neighbor happens to be Mr. R from the Godfather stories and he was outside, pistol in hand, when the Island King pulled up. Mr. R was screaming mad and wanting to get in the Island King's truck so they could go find "those bastards" The Island King tells him that he chased them for a long way but that he just couldn't catch them and that they're long gone by now. As they're standing there a deputy pulled up and they told him the story. The deputy said he's been following this Blazer around for the past couple of nights. He knows they're up to no good but hasn't had a valid reason to pull them over so he's only been able to watch them. He took a statement from the Island King and said he'd be looking for the Blazer. So when that was all over the Island King came on home and tells me this story.
The whole time he was telling me this I'm looking at him with my mouth hanging open.

Me: You chased these guys in REVERSE, going over 50 mph for several blocks, swung around and then chased them some more, going over 70 mph, and then tried to crash in to them before they got away?" "WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!! Did you get their tag number?

Him: No, I was driving backwards and just really focusing on staying on the road.

Me: The cops didn't show up while you were chasing them?

Him: No, I couldn't call them until a couple of minutes into the chase - because I was driving backwards and needed to concentrate on that.

Me: Did you have your gun with you?

Him: No

Me: Well then what were you going to do when you caught them? There were 4 of them and 1 of you. Did you think about that at all, Dirty Harry?

Him: No, I wasn't really thinking that far ahead.

Me: Did you tell the cop that you tried to crash into them? Did you tell him you were chasing them backwards down the road?

Him: Yeah, when I was on the phone with 911 the operator asked if I could see their tag number and I told her no because I was driving backwards. I was still on the phone with her when I tried to run them off the road and she asked if I was able to run them into the bushes.

Me: WTF! The 911 operator never once said "Sir, you need to stop driving backwards down the road" or "Sir please don't try and crash the car you're chasing?"

Him: No she said to try and keep the Blazer in sight and that a deputy was on his way. When they started getting close to the main road I told her that I was backing off and she said a deputy would meet me at Mr. R's house.

Me: Oh. My. God. This is unbelievable.

The Island King is still wild eyed and is pacing back and forth and I'm just looking at him like he's crazy. "Have you lost your damn mind?" I ask. "There were 4 of them and 1 of you, you had no weapon and you were chasing them and trying to run them off the road? Are you f@#^*ing crazy?!!" I ranted and raved for a while and he's actually surprised that I'm so mad. He tells me that he thought I would be proud of him (he gets dumber by the minute!) because I'm always saying that the only way to stop crime is for people to stand up, protect themselves and not count on the cops to show up until it's all over. That's exactly what I believe but I also believe that you don't get involved in a wild car chase and try and run someone off the road, especially if you're unarmed.
I just can't believe he could be so stupid. When we finally finished talking about all of this I looked at him and said "You're an idiot" and walked out of the room. He needs a keeper and he really needs to stop watching those old Dirty Harry movies.
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