The Things Kids Say

I went to the elementary school today to have lunch with the Youngest Island Boy. The school has a lovely butterfly garden, complete with picnic tables, and last year we always ate our lunch out there. This year, for some reason, they've changed the rules and you have to eat in the lunchroom, at your child's table.

After we sat down, the little boy across from us started talking and that child talked about everything under the sun.

Him: Do you know what I'm going to be for Halloween? I'm going to be black.
Me: A black what?
Him: A black person.
Me: How did you come up with that idea?
Him: I think black is a pretty color but my mom won't let me color my skin for school so I have to do it for Halloween.

I didn't know what to say to that one so I went back to eating my lunch.

Him: Do you know why I have this brownie in my lunch box?
Me: No, why?
Him: Yesterday was my dad's birthday and we made him brownies. We didn't get him a present though because my mom says he's a moron and she wasn't buying him anything.

I didn't know what to say to that either.

Him: My favorite color is pink. My dad says pink is a gay color but my mom says that's from the olden days and that pink isn't a gay color anymore.

I was scared to ask what he meant by gay.

Him: My mom has a tattoo of a skunk on her butt and she gets mad because my dad calls her stinky butt.

Would someone really tattoo a skunk on their butt? And if they did could they get mad at someone for calling them stinky butt?

Him: He's not my real dad - he's my stepdad. My mom says my real dad couldn't keep his pecker in his pants so she divorced him.

I choked on a mouthful of food.

Him: My big sister has boobs. I got into trouble for trying to look at them so now I don't look anymore.

Please make this stop!!

The little boy finally stopped talking and the Youngest and I were able to chat a little before time to go back to class. It was a relief not to talk about peckers, skunk tattoos or boobs.

And as I left all I could think about is 'what do my kids tell people about us?' LOL