Monday, December 22, 2008

I Sold The Boat!

Have you ever done something that you really wanted to do but knew that if you did it there would be hell to pay?

I sold my husband's boat. Sold it. While he was asleep. For a lot less than he thinks it's worth. And now I'm having chest pain.

We bought this boat in 2002 - at my insistence. It's a 21' pontoon boat with a 40 Mercury motor on it. The guy who owned it had stripped the flooring and seating off and replaced it all with plywood, then covered the seats with cushions. It needed some work but I thought we'd give it a good paint job, put down some flooring, buy some boat seats and have ourselves a nice pontoon boat.

I don't know why I thought that, the Island King loves to read about and plan refinishing things but he never actually does it. He drags home more junk than you can imagine because he's "gonna fix it up" but that junk sits around until I finally get tired of tripping over it and throw it out.

We used the boat constantly that first summer. Instead of staying home on the weekends and working on the boat, we were out in the boat. We used the boat for 2 years and then parked it one afternoon and never took it out again. I don't know why, but we got busy, and the boat needed a little work and it just got pushed aside.

Do you know what happens to a boat that is left uncovered (the reason it remained uncovered is a story all it's own) for six years? A boat that is left in a driveway while Hurricane Ivan picks it up and drops it several times (our neighbor saw it happen)?

This is what happens

It will rot right in front of your eyes.

So this boat has been rotting in our driveway for years. He kept saying he was going to fix it up one day and that if he was going to sell it he'd want at least a thousand dollars for it. A thousand dollars? The man is out of his mind!

There's an old boat captain that lives behind us and he stopped one day last year and asked if we wanted to sell the boat. The Island King told him no but the Youngest Island Boy popped up and said "My mom says she's going to get mad one day, cut it all up with a chainsaw and stuff it in the trash can"
The boat captain looked at the Island King and said "when she wins this war, and she will, call me and I'll buy the boat"

From then on, about once a month, the Captain stops by and asks if we're ready to sell the boat.

Well the other night the Island King and I had yet another argument about the boat and it ended with him getting mad, yelling "I don't care, sell the damn boat!" and then slamming the door. Island Girl was there and as soon as the door slammed she looked at me and said "I heard him say it. Sell the boat!"

And then yesterday the Captain stopped by. "Are you ready to sell the boat?" was his first question. And before my brain had a chance to kick in, my mouth said $500. He said $450 and I said SOLD!

It was an exhilarating, terrifying moment. I sold the boat! My yard won't look like Fred Sandford's yard anymore! I sold the boat!

And then it hit me that I sold his boat. Oh s$#* I sold his boat while he was asleep. I'll need to make arrangements at the funeral home or I need to find a really good divorce lawyer. I sold his boat.

The Captain gave me $150 and told me that he'd get the boat the weekend after Christmas. I was feeling brave so I pointed to the stacks of tile under the boat that the Island King brought home 4 years ago to tile the office with and said "Do you know anyone who might want to buy that tile?"
Turns out that he knows a guy, called him, and the guy will be by this week to pick up the tile for $50. Yes!

I've gotten rid of the boat and the tile!

After the Island King woke up I tried to think of a good way to tell him, but again my mouth engaged before my brain and I blurted out "I sold the boat to the Captain today for $500. Here's $150 and he'll give you the rest when he picks up the boat after Christmas"

He stared at me for a minute and then it dawned on him that I wasn't kidding. His mouth fell open and the first thing he said was "You sold my boat while I was asleep?"

He was very quiet and then looked so sad that I almost told him I'd go tell the Captain the deal was off. But I didn't. Because that would mean that I would have to watch the boat rot and then pay someone to haul it off.

He doesn't seem too mad, I think he knew this was inevitable. I've been telling him to get the boat out of the driveway for years and he knew I wasn't going to change my mind. It would take at least $800 just to get the boat back in the water and then probably another $1000 to fix it up. He never goes out there and messes with it. It's an eyesore and it makes his wife mad. (which makes his homelife unpleasant LOL) It was obvious that it had to go.

I'm sure I'll hear for the rest of my life that I sold his boat while he was asleep.

I can live with that LOL
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