Wednesday, January 21, 2009

You Can't Pee On The Alligators

I can't decide if this is absolutely hysterical or seriously disturbing but either way it's just too good not to blog about.

The Oldest Island Boy has a friend that we'll call Bobby (because Lord knows we need to change the names in this story LOL). Bobby's mother called Sunday night and since the kids were out of school on Monday she wanted to know if the Oldest would like to come and spend the day at her house playing with Bobby.

The Oldest wanted to go, so on Monday morning the Island King dropped him off at Bobby's house and he spent the day. Bobby's mother brought him home Monday evening and the Oldest said he'd had a lot of fun.

The next day the boys and I were on our way to pick up the Island Girl from school and we passed Fudpuckers. Fudpuckers is a restaurant/bar here in town and it's a really neat place to hang out.

Fuds is a sprawling 3 level place and underneath is a pond filled with alligators.

The man who owns Fudpuckers has a son who puts on a 'gator show' a couple of times a day during the summer. He holds one of the alligators and gives a talk about them and their habitat.

These gators are a huge draw and the people at Fuds are very protective of them.

Another thing that Fudpuckers has is an outdoor playground up on the third level. It overlooks the gator pond and is a great place for the kids to play while you wait for a table or have a drink at the outdoor bar.

As we were driving by the Oldest says "Bobby and his Mom aren't allowed to go to Fudpuckers any more" Curious, I asked why and he tells me that they were kicked out and told not to come back. Kicked out of Fuds? Ok, this is a story I've got to hear.

The Oldest tells me that Bobby's mom used to drink a lot and that one afternoon they were at Fudpuckers and she was sitting at the inside bar drinking and that Bobby was outside playing on the playground. As she sat there the manager approached her and told her that she needed to get her son and they needed to leave.

She asked why and the manager told her that Bobby was out on the playground and had gone up to the railing overlooking the gator pond and that he peed on the gators.

I damn near ran off the road! Bobby peed on the alligators? Holy cow.

My next thought was "what possessed Bobby's mom to tell the Oldest this story?" so I asked him what they were talking about to make her tell him about it. He said they drove past Fuds and that he told them it was one of his favorite places to go and that Bobby's mom said "we can't go there anymore because we got kicked out" and that before he could even ask why she told the story.

I asked him what he said after she told the story and he told me that all he could say was "Wow, my brother pees in the yard all of the time but he's never peed on the gators at Fuds"

While I was processing this story the Oldest says "They can't go to Publix any more either." I was scared to ask but having just heard the Fudpuckers story I couldn't help myself and so I asked why they can't go to Publix.

Apparently, Bobby and his mother were in Publix one afternoon and while she was shopping, Bobby was wandering around the store. You know the candy that you buy by the pound? Well, Bobby stood there for a while and ate quite a bit of candy and then wandered over to the bakery - where he proceeded to eat an entire cake that had been cut into small pieces and put out for shoppers to sample.

Once again, Bobby's mom was approached by management, asked to pay for all of the candy and cake Bobby had eaten and then told to leave and not return.

After the Oldest finished telling me all of this I just didn't know what to say.
The Island King and I have some pretty embarrassing stories ourselves but we don't tell them to our kid's friends (or anyone else for that matter LOL)

My next thought was "Great, I let my son spend the day with a woman who got kicked out of a local restaurant AND the grocery store! As if he could read my mind the Oldest said "After she told me all of this, she told me that she quit drinking 3 years ago and doesn't drink at all anymore."

Obviously that's a good thing.

Sometimes it's nice to hear stories that make the Island King and I seem so normal LOL
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