Thursday, October 29, 2009

You Might Be Fat If...

I've been feeling a little on the chubby side for quite a while now and even though I don't like that I haven't really done anything about it.

At the same time, I don't think I look like a house either.

But after last night I'm beginning to wonder if maybe I have reverse anorexia and I only see a "chubby me" instead of a "big as a barn me" when I look in the mirror.

I started wondering this at McDonalds. And yes, me being at McDonalds in the first place is some of what has contributed to the extra me, but that's not the point.

I walked in to get dinner and the place was completely empty. Just me and the people working behind the counter.

The woman behind the register asked for my order and I told her I wanted 5 Quarter Pounders, 5 small fries and no drinks.

And the woman looked right at me and said "Will this be for here or to go?"

For here or to go? Are you kidding? It's obvious that I'm here alone.

Do I look like I could sit down and eat 5 Quarter Pounders and 5 orders of fries?

When I got home I told the Island King what had happened and that maybe I need to go on a diet.

"Maybe you should just take a couple of the kids with you next time so they won't wonder if all of that food is yours."

Which made sense to me until I woke up this morning and realized that he never said that I didn't look like I could eat 5 Quarter Pounders and by saying I should take the kids with me next time he might be implying that I am quite fat.

I thought about that for a minute and then woke him up.

"So you think I'm fat and look like I could eat enough food to feed a family of 5 in one sitting?"

He sighed and said "We're both fat but I don't think you look that fat. And besides, if that woman in McDonalds had any sense she'd know that if you were going to sit there and eat all of that food you would've ordered a drink."

Ya know, he's absolutely right. I'm sure I'd have ordered a big ole Diet Coke to wash all of those Quarter Pounders down with.

I feel better now.

So I'm going to get donuts.

And for the record - I probably will eat all of those.
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