Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I'm Really Not Teresa

I was in Wal-Mart last night and as I was walking down an aisle I heard a woman calling someone named Teresa.

Since my name's not Teresa I didn't look back but as I got to the end of the aisle I felt someone grab my arm.

The woman who grabbed me said "Teresa, it's me!" and then stood there looking at me expectantly.

I shook my head and told her that I'm not Teresa and I started to walk off.

She grabbed my arm again and said "Teresa, we went to high school together - I know you remember me."

Again I told her that my name isn't Teresa and that she must have me confused with someone else.

She said "Teresa, we went to high school together in Meridian. I'd know you anywhere."

I told her again that she must have me confused with someone else because I didn't go to school in Meridian and that my name isn't Teresa.

She got a really ticked off look on her face and said "Just because you aren't a size 2 anymore you don't have to act like you don't know me - we've all gained a little weight since high school."

I shook my head at her and started to walk off again.

I'm not Teresa, I've never been a size 2 and frankly I don't need some stranger telling me that I've gained weight.

By now the woman is practically fuming at the mouth and she snarls "Fine, act like you don't know me. When I get back to Meridian I'm going to tell everyone that I ran into you and that because you're fat you tried to act like you aren't you!"

Now hang on a minute lady. I may be carrying around a few extra pounds but don't be calling me fat.

As I was opening my mouth to give her a piece of my mind I realized that there was no point in arguing with her. She's obviously a nut and is convinced I'm Teresa.

So I walked away. And as I rounded the corner she was digging her phone out of her purse - surely calling someone in Meridian to tell them that Teresa is fat and acting like she's someone else.

I swear the nuts of the world are drawn to me like flies.

And I feel bad for you Teresa because they're talking about you in Meridian today.
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