Thursday, June 16, 2011

A Medical Breakthrough

We may have discovered a major medical breakthrough!



This is a Spurge Nettle. It has several common names but around here we call them Itchy Bitchies.

Even a slight brush up against one these plants will cause an immediate burning, itching sensation. Depending on how much of the plant you've gotten on your skin the pain can last anywhere from a few minutes to an hour or more.

It's not a "We're going to the ER" kind of pain but it's certainly unpleasant.

Over the years I've tried hundreds of remedies to make the itching go away quickly.

Benadryl, Cortisone cream, MSG, smearing tobacco over the area, pouring cold water on the spot, all with very little result.

The one thing that seemed to work the best was rubbing alcohol. Pouring the alcohol over the affected area eases the itching and burning some and makes the time spent waiting for it to stop tolerable.

So the other day the Island King and I were checking on a geocache that I have hidden in the woods next to a cemetery in Santa Rosa Beach.

I sat down in a clearing to replace the cache log and it wasn't long before my arm started stinging, itching and burning. Bad.

I looked around and next to me was an Itchy Bitchy.

Obviously, I'd brushed up against it.

We were pretty far from the 1st aid kit in the truck and my arm was on fire.

I told the Island King that I needed to go get an alcohol prep from the truck and he said "Here, try pouring some beer on it."

Which sounds like a typical drunken redneck remedy but when your arm is on fire and your husband is holding a Coors Light you'll try anything.

I poured some beer on my arm and the burning/itching stopped IMMEDIATELY.

I can't emphasize the word immediately enough. Literally, the moment the beer hit my arm all pain was gone.

Holy Cow!

I have never in my life had instant relief from an Itchy Bitchy.

I have no idea which ingredient in the beer is the magic one but something in there works.

So, if you ever run up against an Itchy Bitchy, grab a beer and pour it on.

You'll be pain free in an instant.

And once the pain is gone you can always drink the rest of the beer.
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