Thursday, January 26, 2012

So Much For That Resolution

I've always had issues with the "rules of the road" theory.

In my opinion, the DOT is run by idiots. Yes, idiots.

Speed limits are always wrong, one way streets never run the right way, there are 4 lane hwys where there should be 2 and 2 lane hwys where there should be 4, stop signs in the middle of nowhere...

I could go on and on.

So, in a moment of blinding brilliance I decided that one of my New Year's Resolutions was going to be that I am no longer going to heed the rules of the road.

I'll come to a complete stop when I come to a stop sign with actual traffic around it and I will drive whatever speed is safe, being very considerate of the area I'm in, weather conditions, and other traffic.

But I'm going to use common sense - which is often a direct contrast to whatever the DOT has deemed appropriate.

I told several people about my New Year's Resolution and of course they rolled their eyes and told me I was the idiot.

Didn't faze me.

I haven't gotten a speeding ticket since 1986 and really all I'm doing now is stating out loud what I've been doing all along - not following the rules to a T.

My resolution lasted until 5:36pm on January 18th just outside of Luverne, Alabama - which by the way has a sign that says "The Friendliest Town in the South"

I was the only car on a long, straight stretch of Hwy 331 and was driving a safe speed for the conditions.

I came over the top of a hill and saw taillights flash in a bush off to the side of the road at the bottom of the hill.

Damn.

And then the blue lights went on.

Worse than damn.

The Island Girl and her best friend were in the backseat and having earlier been informed of my resolution were howling with laughter.

I slowed down and pulled over in front of him at the bottom of the hill.

He walked up to my window and said "Is there a medical emergency I need to know about?"

I thought and thought but just couldn't come up with anything so I sighed and told him no.

He then proceeded to tell me that the reason I was being stopped this evening was because I was doing 76 in a 55 mph zone.

He asked for my DL and registration and went back to his car.

By now, the Island Girl and her friend are just plain giddy. They taunted me like you wouldn't believe!

I was mad. I haven't had a ticket since I was 22 years old. There was NO ONE on the road and 76 was NOT too fast for the conditions.

And this is obviously a speed trap. He never had to crank his car, the grass where I pulled over was completely gone, worn away by others like me, and it was at the bottom of a hill.

He returned with my ticket and told me to drive safe and have a nice day.

Aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!! (Insert bad worse of your choice here)

And my daughter and her friend continued to tease me.

About 2 minutes after pulling back onto the road I realized that my New Year's Resolution was now defunct.

I can't afford any more tickets and my insurance will go up if I get stopped again.

Which made me even madder.

I ranted and raved the rest of the way home and the more I ranted the harder the kids laughed.

I walked in the door and the Island King was none too happy about the $200 ticket in my hand.

Which prompted him and the kids to tell me that maybe I was the idiot for thinking I could just disregard things like speed limits.

I called my Dad and asked if he had any connections up in Crenshaw County and his response was "How fast were you going?" lol

Turns out that he has no connections in Crenshaw and according to my Mother he wouldn't get her out of a ticket once so even if he knew someone it wouldn't help.

Sigh.

So to use my resolution failure as a learning experience I am now going to say to all of the people who rolled their eyes at me and told me I was an idiot -

You were right. Absolutely, positively correct.

I should never have made that declaration out loud.
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