The Oldest Island Boy, the Island King and I were sitting in the office one evening and I reminded the Island King about some task I needed him to take care of.
The Oldest said “Dad, I feel sorry for you sometimes”
The Oldest kept glancing at me so I told him to go ahead and say what he was thinking.
He told his father that he felt bad for him because he’s a grown man but can’t do whatever he wants and that I have a LONG list of rules he has to follow.
“So you think I’m bossy?”
The Oldest squirmed for a minute and then said “Well, yeah.”
I need to say that this was an adult conversation and that the Oldest was not being disrespectful or mean. We were having a rational discussion about how he perceives things.
The Island King explained how give and take works in a marriage.
There are things he does or doesn’t do in order to have a peaceful life and brought up the old adage of “If Momma ain’t happy, nobody is happy”
Right about then the Youngest Island Boy walked in.
The Oldest continued by saying that he understood that but it just seems like dad gets bossed around a lot and that I have no problem telling him what to do.
He pointed out the relationship that one of his friend’s parents have and says that mom asks the dad to do things and if he doesn’t do them she just does them herself.
Then he pointed at me and said “If she asks you to do something and you don’t do it she gets all demanding and pesters you until you do it.”
I asked what he meant by that and the Youngest pops up and says “Sometimes it seems like you have – you know” and points to his lap.
“Are you saying I act like I have balls?”
He and his brother both answered “Yes” really fast.
The Island King is trying not to laugh and in walks the Island Girl.
I tell her that her brothers think I am bossy and ballsy.
She nods her head like that was common knowledge.
The Island King starts telling them that he yes he does have certain rules but that I do too and as far as being bossed around, it’s just easier to do what he’s told.
The Island Girl looks at me and says “That’s because you can be a little bitchy sometimes”
Nothing that was being said surprised me so I found the whole thing funny but didn’t want them to know that.
“So y’all are saying that I’m a bossy, ballsy, bitch?”
Everyone in the room said “Yes” at once.
And then, to their credit, all three of the kids started saying things like “not always” and “only sometimes”
I laughed for a while and then the Island King and I explained that it may appear that way but that the 2 of us are partners. We don’t make major decisions without talking about them and that sometimes I win and sometimes he wins.
We also reminded them that I have rules I have to follow as well.
I have to make sure Dad always has clean underwear and I’m sure there are a few other things – I just can’t think of any off the top of my head.
The Island Girl said “But he has more rules than you do”
“True. But he’s a man and it’s my job as his wife to keep him reeled in a little. And if I don’t tell him to take out the trash, he won’t.”
It was an interesting conversation and I think we got the point across that the Island King and I make decisions together and that while it may appear that we are like
with the Queen being in charge and the King being a figure head, we really
Well, we are, but I don’t want the Island King to know about it.