Sandcastle Momma: Valentine's Day Disaster

The day before, I told the Island King that I wanted to spend Valentine’s Day in Pt Washington target practicing with my 38.

I realize that may sound weird but the reality is I’d rather spend whatever money would be spent on ammo and a fun day hiking and target shooting with my husband. Flowers and a romantic dinner are nice but it’s going to get hot soon and I live in Florida.

Going to the woods in the summer time, for any reason, is not a real pleasant experience.

We can have a romantic dinner any night. Woods time is growing short.

And to be honest, this shouldn’t be a painful experience for him. I’m not asking him to go purse shopping and then spend the evening on the couch watching chick flicks.

Valentine’s Day came and the Island King snored away. Until 2:00 that man slept.

I realize that I could have made him get up but I shouldn’t have to make him get up to go on a date with his wife on Valentine’s Day.

If I were really as crazy as some people think I am - there’s just no way of knowing what would have happened.

Instead, I was calm and very quiet, which actually scares my husband the most.

He did cook a nice dinner for me but seriously, at that point, I had no appetite and was exhausted from being pleasant all day.

A bowl of cereal and to be left alone is what I really wanted.

His Valentine’s Day gift from me was the Black Rose.

The next morning he apologized and said that he felt so bad about what happened that he wrote it all down so he would never forget it.

He let me read it and maybe I’m a sap but I actually feel kind of bad for him.

He said I could share it so what do you think?

The Black Rose has come full circle.

So, I am sitting in the parking lot in front of Radio Shack waiting on my daughter and oldest son to arrive. The youngest is with me in my truck. We were ALL to meet here and get Mom’s gift TOGETHER....fellas notice the caps. The gift is to be a new smart phone with NO EXPENSE SPARED.

While I am waiting I hear a loud argument begin on the side walk in front of the stores. A woman is getting off work from a clothing store and has exited the store. Her "man" has surprised her as she exits the building with....wait for it ..................wait............................................

A single plastic 99 cent fake rose from the convenience store.

The woman yells out loud "it's F ing 5'oclock" and some more nasty things then turns and walks off while the man is following her, pleading. She turns to him and yells "F you" and throws the fake rose into the street. At that moment a girlfriend getting off work pulls up and they drive off leaving the man standing on the sidewalk.

I saw him clearly. He looked as though he had no idea what had happened. His shoulders shrunk as he turned away and walked shamefully to his truck.

After a few minutes I sent my son over to pick up the rose. It is actually a nice fake rose...not bad for 99 cents. Except for the tips of the rose are black.

As we sit in my truck my son who is 10 years old asks "Dad, what was all that about?"

Holding the rose and inspecting it I looked at him and said "son this is a classic case of Mother’s Day Suicide".

I spent the next 10 minutes telling him what had happened and then explained to him why you never never never never wait until the end of the day on a special occasion like Mother's Day to give the gift.

He looked at me and said "Dad I think I understand how this woman thing works." I replied with a little laughter and said "Well, it’s a lot more complicated that that but this lesson should go a long way for you....just don’t forget it 10 years from now."

I have the fake rose now. I can't seem to throw it away. It has a prominent place on my desk as a reminder of how important your woman really is."

So that’s how the Black Rose came to be.

Since then I have had the Black Rose on my desk in a pencil holder sitting next to my computer monitor. We have joked about it many times.

Once I found it laying in my office chair. Hours before I had had an argument with my wife about something I did or didn't do that she did not like. I had just returned from the store and found the Black Rose in my chair. No one was around.

The Black Rose was laying across the seat.

When I saw it my gut just sank like a rock. I was dazed, feeling cold and my shoulders slumped...OH KNOW NOT THE BLACK ROSE. I just could not believe it. The Black Rose had been cast upon me.

I was scared. I confronted my wife. I asked "Did you cast the Black Rose upon me?" She replied "What are to talking about? I would never do that. I love you." I then showed her the rose in the chair.

So it was a mystery now.

It turns out the cat had been on my desk and had batted the rose around and somehow it landed on my chair.

Now I am seriously considering the Karma thing. I had a feeling that by keeping the rose that this might bring bad Karma. But I felt safe in the fact that the way it came to me and what it represented "to me" was good.

We come to Valentine’s Day 2013.

For the past 5 days I have been seeing TV commercials for Valentine’s Day. So it’s not like I totally forgot about it. In fact it was on my mind.

The night before my wife asks for a "day out shooing her 38 special" instead of flowers and candy. She wanted to spend the money on ammo and have a day in the woods target shooting. WOW....sounds good to me. Valentine’s Day doing guy stuff.....hell yea. So I say great it’s a date.

Now comes the sad part. It is all my fault. I accept total responsibility. But then that does not matter. You are judged not by your words but by your actions.

I stayed up too late and drank too much and forgot to set my alarm. I wake up at 2 pm. It will be dark by 5:30 and the range is 1 hour away. Plus I did not purchase the ammo. So it will be dark by the time we get there.

I stumbled into my office with some 5 hour old coffee and sat down. My wife's desk is a few feet away from mine. She is sitting there all pretty and dressed and says nothing

At this very moment I realize that I HAVE DETONATED A NUCLEAR BOMB. She knows it’s too late to go shooting.

I have nothing to give her. Not a card, flower, nothing. The blood drained from my head. I felt sick and sweaty. How could I have done this?

What is wrong with me? I know better.

My wife is truly one of a kind. The hard times, the crap, the difficulties that I have put her through over our 24 years together ....She does not deserve to be forgotten on Valentine’s Day. I just can’t describe the shame I feel.

She walks over to me and says "get out of your chair and stand over there with your back turned. I have something for you." My first thought was oh no she has a gift for me then I thought....is she going to cleave my head open with an ax or blow me away with my 45?

She says "turn around". I am thinking it’s gonna either be a gun to my head or a gift. I turn, and she is holding the Black Rose. She looks at me with her beautiful green eyes and says "This is for you". I take it. She walks back to her desk and sits down and remains silent.

I sit down in my chair holding the Black Rose. I have no words. No excuse. Nothing. Words can not describe the feeling of shame.