I Really Do Hate Elevators

I don’t have a great history with elevators so I really try to avoid them but I went on a photo shoot with the Island King last week and the condo he was shooting had an elevator that opened directly into the unit.

It was only the 2^nd floor so the elevator didn’t really bother me.

A few minutes into the shoot he needed something from the truck so I went to get it.

I got in the elevator, pushed 1 and nothing happened.

I pushed 1 a few more times and the elevator didn’t move.

Back into the condo I go to tell the Island King that the elevator won’t work.

He tells me to use the code the realtor gave us.

But there is no keypad – just the elevator buttons.

Back into the condo again to tell the Island King that there is no keypad to enter a code.

He tells me to use the elevator buttons like a keypad.

Ok.

I get in the elevator, enter the code and…

Nothing happens.

It’s been a solid five minutes of me trying to make the elevator go and now I’m feeling a strong affirmation that me and elevators just don’t mix.

I go back inside and start looking for the stairs – which I couldn’t find.

I thought all buildings with an elevator had to have stairs but if this place had any I sure couldn’t find them.

The Island King is getting frustrated because he needs his bag from the truck so he stomps over to the elevator, enters the code, smirks at me and then waits for the elevator to move.

I have to admit I was quite happy when nothing happened.

See? It’s not me, it’s the elevator.

He frowns, looks at the keypad and says “so every time you push “P” nothing happens and nothing happens when you enter the code, right?”

Push “P”?

I never pushed “P”

P stands for Penthouse. We need to go to the 1^st floor – not the penthouse.

He gave me one of those “You are a complete moron” look and said “You didn’t push P? P stands for Parking”

I told him that I thought P stood for penthouse and that I was pushing 1 because our car was on the first floor.

“No, there is a condo on the 1^st floor and our car is on the parking level.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because of the symbol next to the P”

“Where did you learn that? Are you making this up?”

He’s staring at me like I’m crazy and I’m staring at the buttons looking for some kind of legend that tells me the symbol means that’s where my car is.

He pushed P and down we went. Uuhhggg.

I had no idea a special parking symbol existed in elevators – and why isn’t there a legend somewhere for people like me?

Ya know, I really do hate elevators.