Friday, May 17, 2013

Southerners in Heaven


Gabriel came to the Lord and said "I have to talk to you. We have some
Southerners up here who are causing problems.”

“They're swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, barbecue sauce is all over their robes, their dogs are riding in the chariots, and they're wearing baseball caps
and cowboy hats instead of their halos.”

“They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean. There are watermelon seeds and pig feet bones all over the place. AND… Some of them are walking around with just one wing."

The Lord said, "Southerners are southerners, Gabriel. Heaven is Home to
all my children.”

“If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil."

The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? Hold on a minute."

The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for
you?"

Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kind of problems you're
having down there.”

The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."

After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm
back. Now what was the question?"

Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"

The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this....Hold on."

This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes.

The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry, Gabriel, I can't talk right now. Those Southerners have put out the damn fire and are trying to install air conditioning.”
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