My parents had a fish fry on Sunday and we got to spend the
day visiting with them and a bunch of cousins.
After a solid week of rain we got lucky. It wasn’t sunny but
only a few showers came through and whenever they did we’d move our chairs and
under the porch until the rain passed.
My cousin Shannon and her kids live on the other side of the
country but are in town so I got to see them.
We haven’t seen each other in years and it was fun to find
out that even though she’s a highly educated grown-up and has kids of her own,
she’s still that same funny, adventurous, wild child she was when we were
Another cousin that I haven’t seen since we were kids, Joe,
was also there. He has a love for guns and all things redneck and we were both
warned by my Dad that there would be no guns or rabble rousing allowed. We
didn’t mind – he has a standing invitation to Tower Camp so we’ll have plenty
of guns and rabble rousing this winter.
Everyone had a really good time but the barometric pressure
must have been off because the day started out a little on the odd side and by
9 that night had gone so far south that I was warned by several people not to
repeat some of the conversations we had.
A big problem with being a blogger and friends with my
family on facebook is that sometimes people point their fingers at me and say
“You’d better NOT write about this!”
Which is really hard because I’m given great material and
then sworn to silence.
An unnamed cousin tells me she owns – and wears – earrings
made from raccoon penis bones and I’m not supposed to say anything?
And then I find out that she gave a pair to another cousin
who wore them to church and after Mass asked the Priest if he liked her
earrings and when he said yes she told him what they were.
Actually the best part of that conversation is when no one
could agree on what word to use for penis.
It seems that penis is not acceptable so words like d***,
weiner and thingy were thrown around.
That whole conversation led to sex stories.
Another unnamed cousin told us about having to go to a hotel
for sex with her husband when their kids were teenagers and running into a
niece working at the desk of a place they checked into.
Which is when my husband, bless his heart, says “we just
push the dresser in front of the door and stuff a towel under it”
Right in front of my parents and my 92 year old Aunt!
I wish I could have left it at that but as the conversation
continued on down the hill there came a point when I blurted out something
about a turkey baster.
My father threw his head back in his chair, which the Island
King found hysterical and copied him.
Too bad he was sitting in a different kind of chair because
he threw his head back and the rest of the chair followed.
See what I mean about the barometric pressure being off?
Rarely does a party at my parent’s house end with sex stories and my husband
falling out of a chair.
I hope it happens again soon.