Tuesday, May 20, 2014

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

My MIL owns a trailer park and her husband, Joe, manages it for her.

It's a little on the low rent side and some of the stories that come out of that park make my mouth fall open.

This is probably the best one so far.

There is a husband, wife and her 9 year old son living in one of the trailers but lately Joe has noticed that someone else seems to be living there too.

He goes in to talk to them about rent and lease issues and he meets another woman and a baby. The woman is the husband's sister and her and her baby's father have broken up so she's staying in the trailer until she can get a place of her own.

Joe tells them ok and off he goes.

A few days later he hears yelling and cussing coming from that trailer so he goes to investigate.

Which is when he finds out that...

The husband's mother has stopped by for a visit. When she comes in the wife and the SIL are sitting in the living room. Apparently, it didn't take long for the MIL to ask the wife to introduce her to the other woman sitting there.

From there – things went south pretty quick.

Why would you need to introduce your husband's sister to her own mother?

Because she's not his sister, she's his girlfriend AND that's his baby.

For over a month the girlfriend and baby have been living in the trailer with the wife.

Joe says things got REAL ugly and a big fight broke out between the two women. And while they were fighting the MIL was on the phone with her son, telling him to get his butt home right now.

The wife and the girlfriend were still in the yard screaming at each other when the husband pulled up.

As he got out of his car all screaming stopped, they looked at him for a minute and then the MIL, the wife and the girlfriend all went after him.

Joe says he let them beat on the guy for a couple of minutes before he pulled them off.

More screaming and yelling followed and the husband tried playing the victim. That infuriated them even more and they went to beating on him again.

At some point the wife went back inside the trailer and started bringing out the girlfriend's stuff and throwing it on the ground.

The girlfriend was busy fighting with the husband so she didn't notice.

But the MIL did and she grabbed some charcoal lighter fluid that was sitting on a grill, doused the pile of stuff and lit it.

The girlfriend sees the fire and attacks the wife. Being the loyal guy that he is, the husband immediately jumps on the girlfriend and pulls her off the wife.

Meanwhile, Joe is watching the whole thing and the MIL is still carting the girlfriend's stuff out and throwing it on the fire.

The wife is crying and the husband goes to her side and the next thing Joe knows the husband is on her and his mother's side and the girlfriend is throwing what's left of her stuff in the trunk of her car.

The girlfriend cusses the man out and drives off.

The rest of them go inside where the wife and MIL tenderly take care of the bloody nose the man has. The bloody nose his mother gave him.

That was several months ago, the husband still lives with the wife and Joe says he hasn't seen the girlfriend since.

Seriously?

My first question was how could you be married to a man and either not know he has a sister or have not ever met or seen a picture of his sister?

The next question was if your mother lives in the same town as you, why wouldn't you expect her to stop by on occasion – thus blowing the sister thing wide open?

Joe looked at me and said “This guy makes the people who are dumber than dirt look smart.”

I guess so.

Disclaimer:

A. According to Joe, neither of the children were home at the time of the incident.

B. I don't know why I find inappropriate things funny but I do. If I had witnessed this event I would have been laughing too hard to stand up. BUT I would have not been laughing at them – I would have been laughing at the story that unfolded.


C. Mom, please stop shaking your head.
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