Saturday, August 23, 2014

Geocaching, A Testimonial and a Hooker

For the longest time I've been hovering just below the 1,000 geocaches found mark and last night I decided I couldn't stand it any longer.

I was determined to find my 1,000 cache – that night – even if it took me all night long to do it.

I needed 9 caches to hit 1,000 so I picked 9 easy grab-n-go type caches, talked the Island King into being my wing man and off we went.

I hit 1,000 at a cache named Down on the Corner, Out in the Street, which is one of my favorite songs.


I love the sign the Island King made me - he gave himself big muscles.

We were happy and hungry so off we went to get something to eat.

We ended up at a local place that we both enjoy and sat down on the patio, ready to celebrate my milestone. He went inside to get us a drink and through the window I see him talking to a man at the bar.

He came back out a few minutes later and told me the man was someone we'd done a shoot for several years ago.

A couple of minutes later, out he comes and asks if he can join us. Absolutely. The more the merrier.

He'd obviously had several drinks before we got there and it wasn't long before he was telling us about his life before he moved here.

He was rich and powerful and God came and talked to him but he didn't really listen. Things went South and he lost everything and then God came to talk to him again.

This time he listened and has been on the right path ever since. For three hours we talked about God.

He continued to drink and he was a preachin'. The Island King and I never got much more than a word or two in edge wise but he was fascinating to listen to and I agreed with most of his points so it was an interesting experience.

As we he was talking, two cute, little blond girls walked past our table, realized who he was and each gave him a big hug. They started talking and he told us they were waitresses at Hooters. They had some discussion about a tip and a drink he'd had earlier, while at Hooters.

He offered to buy them a shake, “since neither one of them are 21” but they declined and headed inside.

Back to preaching. Not in a bad way but more of a testimony than a sermon.

But then, mid sentence, he stopped talking, his mouth fell open and his eyes almost popped out of his head.

He was looking at the redhead that had just walked onto the patio. I have to say she was stunning. She was wearing a beautiful dress that wasn't too revealing but definitely caught your eye and she seemed a lot more classy than most girls her age ( 22? ) are today.

She sat down at the table next to us, then got up, walked past us and then back to the empty table.

Our friend never quite recovered and as she came by the 2nd time he introduced himself to her. She made a point of making sure he got her name right, shook his hand and sat down at the table next to us.

Alone.

The Island King asks if she used to work there, thinking she was another girl we know. She said she used to but not anymore.

He said “Did you have long hair?” and she said no.

I noticed her hair was up in a bun but it didn't look big so I assumed she had short hair.

Friend asks her where she works now and she tells him Victoria's Secret. The Island King laughed and told her she was in the right place and Friend is drooling and saying that he needs to shop there.
The Island King gets up and announces that he's going to the restroom.

As he walks by her she says “Good luck.”

The jealous woman in me kicked in long enough to wonder what that meant and then I dismissed it, thinking she was probably just waiting on someone and Friend was making her nervous with his drooling.

A second later she gets up and goes into the restaurant.

As a jealous woman I'm not sure how I missed that.

Meanwhile, Friend is having a dilemma because he knows he shouldn't be ogling girls but he is.

I jumped in with “Seriously, what would you have in common with a girl that young?” (he's 65)
“What would you talk about?” “What kind of music would you listen to in the car for Pete's Sake?”

I delivered my questions in rapid fire form because experience had taught me it was hard to get in a word otherwise.

Well, that man jumped up out of his chair like a Mexican Jumping Bean and started around the table towards me.

I'm wondering what is happening and at that moment the Island King came flying out the door.

That seemed to freak Friend out even more and he took off running around the table.

I'm sitting there wondering what in the world is happening and the Island King says “We've got to go”

He has this look on his face and I could tell he was on the verge of bolting.

I'm processing Friend doing this weird, around the table run and the Island King wanting to leave Right Now when the bartender comes out the door with a squash in his hand.

He'd made a pipe out of the squash and said it actually worked.

It was truly like being in the Twighlight Zone.

The Island King was moving like his head was on fire and his ass was a catchin'.

He was grabbing stuff and dragging me out of my chair, Friend can't say goodbye fast enough and the bartender is proudly blowing air through his squash pipe.

All while the redhead stands just inside the door watching us.

As the Island King drug me off the patio, Friend went inside and immediately sat down at the bar with the redhead.

I'm still asking what is going on so the Island King says, “She's a professional and he's embarrassed that we were there when she arrived.”

WHAT?

Then he tells me that when he went to the restroom she followed him and was standing right outside the Men's room door when he came out. With her hair down. Her long hair.

He said she looked him right in the eye and gave him an “ask for my number” look which according to him is when he knew for sure she was a hooker.

He then realized she was there to meet Friend and that's why Friend was so freaked out. He'd just spent 3 hours preaching and giving his testimony only to have a hooker arrive for an appointment.

I fell out and told the Island King about me questioning him about the girl's age and how he'd jumped out of the chair like I lit a fire cracker under him. Which caused the Island King to tell me that he wondered what was happening when he came out and Friend was running around the table.

He thought Friend was hitting on me and got freaked when he saw him and that's why he started running.

He wasn't hitting on me but I'm sure seeing the Island King added to his confusion which caused him to run even faster.

After we stopped laughing I wanted to know how my husband knows all of this “hooker etiquette” and he spent some time telling me about all of the hookers he carried over the years in his ambulance and that he can just spot them.

Hmmm. We're going to have to talk about that a little more.

I'm still shocked that this entire thing unfolded in front of me and I never noticed a thing.


Finding my 1,000 cache was cool but the dinner show was spectacular!
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