I started to text back but quickly realized there was no way I could text fast enough to hear this story so I called him.
“You are not going to believe this!”
Great. This story starts just like a redneck joke.
“I was turning around in a tight spot and a small tree grabbed my bumper and ripped it off”.
From there the story just got completely crazy.
He says he was backing up and didn't see the tree. He was barely moving and had no idea it had even happened until he got turned around and started to drive away.
Wait – what?
So you didn't feel the truck jerk when the tree caught the guard?
“And you didn't hear any crunching, tearing sound?”
“No and the radio wasn't on AND the windows were open”
I'm not buying this for a minute. I personally have nailed more trees than I care to admit with that guard and I've never even put a dent in it.
I told him his story was so full of holes it couldn't even be considered a story and to fess up. Was he doing donuts? Plowing through a trail only to realize it wasn't a trail and then back out too fast? Was he on the phone? Did he sneeze?
He is sticking by his story – to the point that he made a video “recreating the scene of the accident”
I just don't believe he didn't hear or feel anything but since it's his truck it doesn't matter what I think.
And for the record – I believe his ripping the guard off trumps my sinking the car in a creek.