I've always loved wandering around old cemeteries. Headstones can
tell so much history and being a history buff – I love reading the
stones and wondering what life was like for those that came before
Yesterday I decided to head up to the north end of the county,
find some geocaches and explore a couple of old cemeteries I've never
I was going alone and even though I'm directionally challenged I
was confident I could find my way. After all, I had a handheld GPS,
my car GPS, the compass built into my truck, and a smart phone –
how lost could I get?
Everybody done laughing now?
So anyway, I was doing fine as I drove north out of Crestview and
things were still looking good as I turned off Hwy 85 and went after
the first cache on my list.
I had written meticulous directions to each place I wanted to go
so I followed my directions and drove straight to the second cache on
I parked and followed my GPS into the woods, feeling extremely
proud of myself.
Had I not been so busy patting myself on the back I might have
seen the GIANT spider and web that I was about to walk into.
I face planted the spider web and just as I was about to start the
Spider Dance I looked up and about an inch from my nose was the
spider who owned the web. The really, really big spider.
I heard a scream and I'm pretty sure it came from the spider - but - it could have been me.
As I was dancing around trying to get the web off of me I noticed
that there were webs and spiders everywhere.
I also spotted the cache so after I recovered I went under and
around the webs between me and the cache, signed the log and then
made it back to my truck without running into any more webs.
The next cache was in one of the cemeteries I wanted to walk
through and my directions took me straight to the cemetery.
Where I saw this.
Hmm. I wonder what criteria you have to meet to be “approved”
to be buried there. Sounds like a Home Owners Association for a
I've seen signs like this one in other cemeteries but they just
want you to ask for permission – not approval.
I wandered the cemetery and found this headstone.
I love it!
After looking through the cemetery and finding the cache it was
time to head off to stop number four.
I was feeling confident and pleased with myself and then … it
all went sideways.
I couldn't find any of the roads on the directions I'd written and
according to my GPS the next place I wanted to go was 14 miles away.
In the other direction.
So I turned around and then turned again and then again. All turns
brought me back to the same intersection.
Which in a way is good because I found the camper of my dreams
sitting on the side of the road.
My hand held GPS seemed a little freaked out and only knew I
needed to go 14 miles the in the other direction so I turned on my
driving GPS hoping to find at least one of the roads on my list of
The first thing she asked me was what city I was in. Which is a
stupid question to ask a lost person.
I had no idea so I started typing names of cities I knew had to be
somewhere around me. No matter what I entered she was convinced I was
My onboard GPS is lost, my hand held GPS is drunk and there is no
You Are Here mark on my actual road map.
I just bought a smart phone so I decided to ask Siri.
Her answer to “Where Am I?”
“In a land far, far away”
I told her to shut up and she responded by telling me to be nice.
I tossed the phone into the back seat.
Nothing to do now but drive so I decided that of all my choices
the drunk GPS telling me to go 14 miles to the northwest sounded the
The drunk passed out about here
At least it was a pretty road so I just kept driving. The compass
in my truck said I was heading NW so I was still going in the right
The drunk GPS woke up a little later and beeped, telling me the
next cemetery/geocache was .57 of a mile away.
No way did I drive 14 miles but I figured that maybe she'd sobered
up and I could get back on track.
But then I passed this.
The cemetery isn't in Alabama, the cache isn't in Alabama, but I
Or I was for the amount of time it took me to take the picture and
then turn around.
I drove south for a little while and then turned west where I
passed a Mormon Temple.
Ok, a Mormon Temple in the middle of nowhere, somewhere just south
of the Alabama line has got to be easy to find on Google – which
should then give me an idea of where I am.
I pulled over and discovered that I had no cell service.
Seriously Verizon? A paved road, power poles and a Temple but no
cell service. I'm not impressed.
I drove on and came to an intersection of Kennedy Bridge Rd. I
don't know exactly where I am but I do know that I'm in Okaloosa
County and I'm not that far from Tower Camp.
I pulled over at the bridge to get my feet wet for a few minutes
but the bugs were so thick I decided not to stay long.
It was after 5 and I'd long since given up on my mission so I
aimed South and started driving.
The nice thing about living where I do is that if I head South
I'll end up at the Gulf and from there I can always find my way home.
I got home about 8 and of course about the time I pulled into my
driveway, I had cell service, Siri told me what street I was on and
my GPS was wide awake and completely sober.
It's a good thing I enjoy driving around aimlessly or days like
yesterday wouldn't have been any fun at all.