Tuesday, September 1, 2015

How To Irritate Someone's Mom Through Text Messaging

We took one of the boy's friends, B, up to Tower Camp with us on Sunday and as we were driving home his Mom sent a text wanting to know why he was late and when he'd be home.

Late? He never said a word to us about having to be home at a certain time.

We were still an hour away from home so the Island King told B to give him the phone and he'd take care of it.

I thought he meant he'd handle it in a mature, responsible way by calling and telling her where we were, and how long it would be before we got home.

Except that's not what he meant.

I was driving so he fired off a text to B's Mom saying “It's all chill baby, we're headin to the crib now and will be there in a while.”

At this point we know that B's Mom is going to think B sent the text and we were laughing pretty hard.

She texted back and you could tell she wasn't real happy with him and again asked what time he'd be home.

The Island King responds by telling her to “Chill sweet cheeks, we'll be there in 4 shakes of a lamb's tail.”

We're laughing even harder at this point and a couple of minutes later she sends a text back with 4 goat emoticons and says she couldn't find an lambs or lamb tail emoticons.

I was laughing so hard I almost had to pull over and the Island King sent her another text. This time he says “I love them goats baby!”

Now keep in mind that B's Mom has no idea that it's not him texting her and we knew she was wondering what was going on.

A couple of minutes goes by and she sends another text and this time she really wants to know when he'll be home.

The Island King texts back saying “Chill Mama, we're headin that way.”

An angry text comes back wanting to know exactly where he is and exactly when will he be home.

By now everyone in the car is laughing hysterically, including B, but we all know he is in big trouble.

I tell the Island King to give B the phone and let him send her a real message letting her know we'll be there but he tells me that he'll handle it.

I thought that meant he'd call her and explain that he was the one messing with her in the text messages and give her our ETA.

I don't know why I thought that.
I look over and see the Island King snapping off selfies and sending them to her.

It took every ounce of self control I had not to run off the road because I was laughing so hard.

There was radio silence for about 10 minutes and we were all wondering what she must be thinking. When she responded she said “Where is B and do I need to come and get him?”

Which was the end of me. I couldn't even breathe I was laughing so hard. This poor woman has no idea when her son will be home or why my husband is sending her selfies.

I finally had to tell one of the boys to take the phone and send her a text telling her we were 10 minutes out and would be right there.

When we pulled up in front of his house she was standing outside, not looking too happy. We dropped him off and kept moving.

I was really hoping he wasn't in trouble because of the Island King's antics but the next day he came over after school and said that she was mad because he was late but she had no idea what was going on with the texts and the selfies.

He told her “You must have understood a little because you sent us 4 goat emoticons” which caused her to crack up and tell him that yes she was mad about him being late but that the texts were so weird she knew they weren't from him and when she got the selfies and realized it was the Island King who'd been messing with her she laughed until she cried.

This is why our children all have quirky friends with quirky parents – we run the “normal” ones off pretty fast.
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