Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Cry Me a River or Burn that Mutha Down

In the past few months it seems like I've been mentally hit by Mack truck after Mack truck. No matter how bad things seemed to be each day, tomorrow would bring worse.
Just when I'd think I hit rock bottom I'd start falling again.

I'm not going to spend an hour crying you a river but let's just say that 2016 has been the hardest year of my life.

I know that God has carried me through these past months because there is no way I've survived all of this on my own. It's been a very dark time and even when I could see no light at all I knew in my heart that God was there for me and that I would, eventually, come out the other side.

And I have. I'm bloody and bruised but I have survived.

They say God never gives you more than you can handle but for a while I was positive he had me confused with someone else.

We've had some major problems within our family that have been devastating and then, to top it all off, our business has gone under.

I've heard that money is the root of all evil but I'll tell you right now – NO money is probably worse.

So I've spent the past months being a warrior on some days and hiding under my bed on others.

I hate to admit it (because I hate being a coward) but it was the Island King who stepped up, took control and has put us on the path to a new and better life.

We're working hard every day to solve the problems with the kids and our marriage and he has chosen a new career – which I will tell you about soon.

Because of the problems we've been having my creative side withered and I haven't been able to write one single word.

Lately, as things have started to improve I've felt some of that creativity coming back but it wasn't until last night that my creativity bloomed and here I am.

The Island King and I haven't been sleeping much lately and last night we were pacing the floor, talking and planning this new chapter in our lives when we decided we wanted to get out of the house for a while.

It didn't matter that it was 2am, we were wide awake and decided to go park in a local parking lot, and catch some Pokemon. Needing to decompress some, it sounded like a good idea so we grabbed Buddy the Beagle and off we went.

Now I've never been a Disco fan but the Island King is. So as we were sitting there the song Disco Inferno came on.

He turned the radio up as loud as it would go and then proceeded to sing at the top of his lungs.

For the first time in months I laughed until I cried.

And as I was watching him I gained a new strength that I didn't know I possessed.

I had been sad and depressed over the mess our life had become but after last night I got the first good night's sleep I've had in months and woke up with a new perspective.

I'm no longer looking back and wallowing in regret. We're building a new and better life and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we will succeed. We will fix what's broken and move forward as a family. I'm done hiding under the bed and am now strong enough to slay every dragon who steps into our path.

Being a die hard rock n roll fan I would never have believed that God would speak to me through a disco song but he did.

And I listened.


As for everything bad in the past – well we're just gonna “burn that mutha down” 

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