In the past few months it
seems like I've been mentally hit by Mack truck after Mack truck. No
matter how bad things seemed to be each day, tomorrow would bring
worse.
Just when I'd think I hit
rock bottom I'd start falling again.
I'm not going to spend an
hour crying you a river but let's just say that 2016 has been the
hardest year of my life.
I know that God has
carried me through these past months because there is no way I've
survived all of this on my own. It's been a very dark time and even
when I could see no light at all I knew in my heart that God was
there for me and that I would, eventually, come out the other side.
And I have. I'm bloody and
bruised but I have survived.
They say God never gives
you more than you can handle but for a while I was positive he had me
confused with someone else.
We've had some major
problems within our family that have been devastating and then, to
top it all off, our business has gone under.
I've heard that money is
the root of all evil but I'll tell you right now – NO money is
probably worse.
So I've spent the past
months being a warrior on some days and hiding under my bed on
others.
I hate to admit it
(because I hate being a coward) but it was the Island King who
stepped up, took control and has put us on the path to a new and
better life.
We're working hard every
day to solve the problems with the kids and our marriage and he has
chosen a new career – which I will tell you about soon.
Because of the problems
we've been having my creative side withered and I haven't been able
to write one single word.
Lately, as things have
started to improve I've felt some of that creativity coming back but
it wasn't until last night that my creativity bloomed and here I am.
The Island King and I
haven't been sleeping much lately and last night we were pacing the
floor, talking and planning this new chapter in our lives when we
decided we wanted to get out of the house for a while.
It didn't matter that it
was 2am, we were wide awake and decided to go park in a local parking
lot, and catch some Pokemon. Needing to decompress some, it sounded
like a good idea so we grabbed Buddy the Beagle and off we went.
Now I've never been a
Disco fan but the Island King is. So as we were sitting there the
song Disco Inferno came on.
He turned the radio up as
loud as it would go and then proceeded to sing at the top of his
lungs.
For the first time in
months I laughed until I cried.
And as I was watching him
I gained a new strength that I didn't know I possessed.
I had been sad and
depressed over the mess our life had become but after last night I
got the first good night's sleep I've had in months and woke up with
a new perspective.
I'm no longer looking back
and wallowing in regret. We're building a new and better life and I
know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we will succeed. We will fix
what's broken and move forward as a family. I'm done hiding under the
bed and am now strong enough to slay every dragon who steps into our
path.
Being a die hard rock n
roll fan I would never have believed that God would speak to me
through a disco song but he did.
And I listened.
As for everything bad in
the past – well we're just gonna “burn that mutha down”
