Saturday, December 21, 2013

Coloring His Beard Didn't Work Out So Well

The Island King's hair has been turning gray since he was about 25 and by now it's more gray than black.

He jokes often about washing the gray out of his hair and I've told him I think he should try it but he never actually has.

He's also trying to grow his hair out. Most people go through a weird phase as their hair is growing out but he isn't most people and his hair grows up and out – like an afro. So his weird phase is WAY past weird.

Kind of like this.


Last night he tells me he wants to go to Walmart and get some “hair products.”

I thought he meant something to make it lay down instead of puffing up like it does but when we got there he walked straight to the hair color and bought himself some wash that gray out of your hair stuff.

He's decided to grow a beard again and it's completely gray so he got beard color too.

We get home and I put the color on his hair, waited the designated amount of time, and the he rinsed the color out of his hair.

It worked. I haven't seen him with his original hair color in 20 years.

He thinks he looks like Elvis but I think he's just used to the dull gray color he had going on so having black hair again is freaking him out a little.


Then it was time to color his beard.

We read the directions and he followed them carefully.

Or so we thought.

I'm still not sure what happened but all of a sudden his face was black, like he'd smeared shoe polish all over himself.

It was supposed to stay on for 5 minutes but after 3 I was really worrying about the painted look and made him wash it off.

Except...

Nothing came off.



He scrubbed and scrubbed and it would not come off.

I had no idea what to think. One minute I'd be laughing as hard as I could and the next minute freaking out because Christmas is a few days away and I'd really rather not have his face stained in our Christmas pictures.

Nothing on the package said anything about what to do if you stain your face so I got on the internet, looking for something to get the stain off his face.

First, we tried rubbing Vaseline all over his face. Didn't phase it.

Next we smeared toothpaste all over. Nothing.

Not only was I worried about Christmas pictures but he had a photo shoot to go to this morning and really, what do you say to someone when you walk up and have shoe polish smeared on your face?

Because, really, it looked like he got drunk and tried to paint a beard on himself.

The next remedy was a 50/50 mixture of Dawn dish soap and baking soda to be left on for 15 minutes.


According to him, that burns your face as bad as pepper spray burns your eyes.

I felt bad for him but you gotta do what you gotta do when stuff like this happens.

Thank goodness that worked! Well, he still has a faint, underlying, stained look - but it's not as noticeable.


Between his DIY flat-top and now this I've got to find the man a real barber. I can't take much more.
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