Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Trouble at Tower Camp

Things started getting weird at Tower Camp at the end of the season last year and this year they've only gotten worse.

The camp was robbed and then one morning a week later, the Island King and the boys got in the truck to go into town and after they left I started washing the breakfast dishes.

I got a strange feeling and right about then Buddy the Beagle threw his body up against mine, shaking and growling a low, ugly kind of growl.

I looked up and standing right at the edge of the woods was a man staring at me.

I grabbed my shotgun (which is always close at hand up there) and the man turned around and took off running. And when I say running I mean running. He didn't get on the trail but plowed out through the forest as fast as he could.

The dog kept growling and I stood there watching the man run away, totally freaked out. He'd not come up the road, he didn't look like a hunter or a hiker and why did he run from me?

If I stumbled across someone's camp in the woods I would explain my presence, not run away.

Unless I was up to no good.

I believe he was out in the woods somewhere, heard the truck leave and didn't expect to find me still at the camp.

It wasn't long after that we learned that there is a big problem with lean-to meth labs popping up in that area of the Forest.

Great. Methed up, camp robbing, woods walkers.

Summer came along and we closed up camp and hoped things would be better this season.

It cooled off enough to leave the beach so the Island King and the Oldest Island Boy went up for the weekend while I was in Rome. The land Tower Camp is on is an outparcel of the Forest and the other half of the parcel is owned by a little old couple who have a small goat farm.

So one night the Island King calls to tell me that the old man who lived on the farm has died and his son has returned from parts North to take care of his mother and the farm.

“He's an interesting guy” the Island King tells me.
He came through the woods wearing surfer shorts, no shirt and no shoes and according to the Island King he was odd but very nice.

Two days later I hitched a ride home from Rome with the Librarian and since they were still at TC they met us at the Interstate and we went back to camp.

It wasn't long before Moe showed up and even though the Island King had described him to me
I wasn't fully prepared for Moe.

He seems like a really nice guy but as the saying goes “he ain't from 'round here.”
Which is odd because he was raised on the farm next door.

Flash ahead two weekends and the Island King and Saul Overman are up there again.

Which is when they met Moe's twin brother who shall be called Joe.

They'd been shooting clays when a County deputy pulled in. A deputy who was shocked to learn that our camp even existed.

Maybe that's why we're such an easy target for the woods walkers.

He'd been called because someone heard them shooting and saw them killing a deer out of season.


The deputy saw what was going on and explained that when he got to the entrance of the road leading into the woods by camp he'd encountered a man with a rifle who was blocking the road with his truck and waving his gun around.

According to the deputy the man heard shots and even though he didn't see anything he “just knew” someone was deer hunting out of season and that he intended to do a citizen's arrest when whoever it was came out of the woods.

The deputy said the man was very confrontational and didn't want to put his gun down.

Oh and the man happened to be Moe's twin brother.

The deputy told the Island King that they knew all about “those guys” and that Moe had to be Baker Acted (72 hour crazy person hold) the night before.

Moe and Joe come into town every once in a while and the cops spend a lot of time at the farm when they do.

Good grief. Woods walkers, camp robbers and now a crazy twin.

The Island King was hopping mad so he was getting in his truck to go talk to Joe when Joe came rolling in.

Joe looks nothing like Moe but according to the Island King he made Moe seem sane.

Joe starts apologizing and says he was sure someone had been killing deer because when he was out getting one that morning he'd heard gunshots.

So, it's ok for him to hunt out of season but he goes all citizen's arrest when someone else does it?

He apologized again, proclaimed that the Island King was his new best friend and off he went.

He came back alone the next day and after Saul left he told the Island King (out of nowhere) that his nipples were pierced and he yanked up his shirt to show him.

The Island King is standing there with his mouth hanging open, wondering where in the hell that came from when Joe says that he has 13 rings pierced in his penis.

He goes to unbutton his pants and the Island King told him that he didn't need to see that and to keep his pants zipped.

The next statement out of Joe's mouth was that he enjoyed having sex with cows.

The Island King started backing up while Joe talked about the likeness between a woman and a cow.

He also mentioned that he's “done a few chickens too” but they aren't as good as cows – and it kills the chicken.


The Island King is frantically packing up his tent so he can get the hell out of there and Joe tells him that he likes to walk through the woods at night and that he's so quiet no one can hear him.

Holy crap!

The Island King managed to get packed and out of there in record time but before he left he learned that Joe is planning on spending some time there through the holidays.

The Island Girl wanted to go target shooting the other day but the Island King was working so he couldn't go and at this point I refuse to go up there without him.

I have no desire to talk to a pierced up, animal molesting, crazy man – especially not alone in the woods.

I'm really upset about this whole thing. We own 8 beautiful acres in the middle of the woods but we're now surrounded by meth labs, woods walkers, camp robbers and not one but two crazy men.

We don't know what to do right now but hopefully the crazy brothers will leave and the cops will get rid of the meth labs.

Until then, no Tower Camp for me.
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