Walking - or not - In Heels

I'm not really an “outfit” kind of girl. I'm more of a throw on whatever is clean and not too wrinkled person but not long ago I went shopping and bought some new clothes.

And a new pair of shoes. A pair of the cutest 6” platform sandals you've ever seen.

As soon as I showed them to the Island King he shook his head and told me I was going to break my neck walking in them.


When I was in my 20s I could strut around in high heels all day and half the night – with no problem at all.

He reminded me that while this may be true I haven't worn anything but flip flops, hiking boots and tennis shoes in the past 25 years.

I ignored him and last Friday night I put on one of my cute new outfits, my new shoes and out we went.

We had dinner and as we were leaving the restaurant we walked across a grassy median and I hit a stump.

And fell slap off my new shoes.

I didn't twist my ankle or anything – just fell off the damn things.

I landed on my arm, which I'm pretty sure has a slight fracture, and then kind of lay there wondering what just happened.

The Youngest Island Boy was trying to get me off the ground and kept saying “get up Granny, we're in the middle of Michigan Ave and you're holding up traffic” Which is a throwback from when my Mom fell in Chicago.

After he and the Island King got me back on my feet I was brushing myself off and realized the price tag was still on my shorts.

Good grief! I'd been walking around all evening with the price tag still on my clothes like I was Minnie Pearl.

I refused to go to the ER so when we got home the Island King put a splint on my arm and gave me a pain pill that was leftover from the last time I hurt myself.

Meanwhile, I'm still wearing the splint, my arm will continue to hurt for a while, I've put those damn shoes in the very back of the closet AND made sure the tags have been removed from all my new clothes.

The saddest part of this whole story is that I hadn't had a drop of alcohol. If I'd have been tipsy falling would be more understandable.

Apparently walking in heels is not like riding a bike.